So without any brick workouts, a month or so of once a week swimming intervals to work on speed and not riding any steep hills....okay, not riding any hills whatsoever, I gather my gear the night before the race and remind myself that if it wasn't hard, it wouldn't be worth doing. I am up at 3:30am to load the car with everything and am pleasantly surprised that my dear husband is coming along. I thought I would be doing this all alone, which was a bit disheartening. Having some support on the course is always welcome and especially when it's from the person who has given you the time and space to train for your races. So we head up the Donner in the dark and pull into parking as the sun is rising over the lake. I'm looking around at all these triathletes with their fancy tri bikes and funny helmets, thinking "what the hell have I gotten myself into?"
Feeling a bit like a fish out of water, I walk my bike to transition and find a spot on the assigned rack for my gear. The guy next to me is slathering sunscreen on but stops to give me a friendly smile and ask how I'm doing. "Uh, nervous". Oh, that's an understatement. All I can think about is that damn bike course and the 4 mile climb up the side of a mountain. I can't really think of anything else. Good thing my swimming is dialed in and my strongest discipline; I won't need to waste time and energy thinking about the swim. And my legs already are well versed in running, even if they aren't very good at it. I get marked by a volunteer, eat a PB and J then shimmy into my wetsuit. It's about 49 degrees out and the wetsuit offers some much welcomed warmth. The fog is rising gently off the glasslike surface of the lake. I look for the buoys and to my relief, they seem to appear closer than when we were here on packet pick up Friday. Time to warm up and I head into the cool waters of Donner Lake. A couple hundred yards of some slow strokes and I'm ready. Time for my wave to head over to the start area. I kiss my hubby goodbye and make sure to remind him of my estimated times for the swim, bike and run. Little did I know how off I would be for the bike!
It's Joni! She came to cheer me on!!! I'm excited but I'm also a little oxygen deprived and the only thing I am aware of is someone in a Sparkleskirt on the side of the course. I immediately think how I have to tell my best running buddy and skirt wearing cohort that I saw a Sparkleskirt at the triathlon. Then the fog clears, I hear Joni saying that Cherie is here to cheer me on as well and realize the skirt wearer IS Cherie. I chuckle to myself, give Joni a wet hug and continue into T1 to get ready for certain death. I mean, the bike course.
I had already decided I would be taking my time in transition. I have not practiced transition, I'm not "racing" this triathlon and I need the extra few minutes to get my legs rested and consume some food. I down a Huma gel, take a swig of water, dry off and get my cycling gear on. Head out of T1 and right into the climb that starts across the street. Here goes nothing. I throw into my easiest gear and start to spin up the hill. There is one brief flat spot a little over a mile up where I make sure to take a few swigs of my Tailwind. The course immediately goes right back into a straight climb. I'm being passed by experienced triathletes and getting encouragement left and right (can they see how badly I'm sucking?? Is it that obvious?). Those words, kind smiles and thumbs up help me to keep my legs moving. My main goal for the bike was to NOT have to get off and walk up the initial hill. As I hit the summit, it suddenly hits me....I didn't have to walk!!! Wahoo!!! I made it and yell out "F*ck yeah!". Down a few more swigs of Tailwind and I'm ready to rock and roll.
I switch gears and get ready to fly down the hill on the backside that leads out to the turnaround. I'm cruising and my legs are enjoying the break. A few small hills here and there but nothing big and they are short. I pass the small towns of Kingvale and Soda Springs where some of the townspeople are out, cheering everyone on. I am thanking people left and right for volunteering or coming out to encourage us. As I hit mile 8 or so, I pick up speed and am hauling ass down a nice, long decline. I wonder to myself why the athletes on the other side of the road seem to moving rather slowly...I would soon find out, unfortunately. I hit the turn around and head back towards Donner. It immediately occurs to me - this is an incline and a rather long one. Okay, drop back into my easy gear and start spinning. And spinning. My cadence is slowing and I'm already in my easiest gear. This is hard. Why didn't anyone tell me about THIS part of the course??? I was so focused on that first 4 miles, I had no idea the backside was a total grinder and pretty much all uphill. I would come around another corner and there would be yet another hill. I thought to myself if I saw another hill, there would be tears. Seriously. I'm now contemplating how difficult it would be to roll into transition and tell them I wanted to do the Aquabike instead and be done. I wasn't looking forward to having to run 6 1/2 miles after this death climb. I hit mile 20 and after a quick glance at my Garmin, realize I will be nowhere near the 1:45-2:00 mark I had told hubby. Oops.
I start what I consider the best part of the bike - the 4 miles winding downhill to Donner Lake. Gorgeous views as I hit 40mph on my way down to the transition. What took me 45 minutes to get up probably took me 2 minutes to ride down. Amazing. That last part *almost* made the first 20 miles worth it. Almost.I roll to the bottom, put my foot down as required then hop back on and head over the entrance to transition. I see my husband, he asks me how it was and my reply "the hardest thing I've ever fucking done" gets recorded on video. I'm so relieved to be done with the bike, amazed I made it without walking and happy to get my butt out of the saddle. It will be days before I can sit comfortably. The longest I've ever been on my bike was about 1:30-1:45. Today's ride took me 2:18 and my rear end is paying for it. Lesson #384 I've learned from this triathlon so far - spend more time in the saddle. Lots more time. I've been humbled by the Donner bike course. Roll my bike into T2 and switch into my running shoes, down another Huma gel in preparation for the run then it's time to finish this thing. I start to run.
Nope. A whole lotta nope there. Not doing brick workouts at all plus the cramping I had earlier in my calf are coming back to bite me in the ass. I revert to a run/walk/run interval and keep that up throughout the entire 6.5 miles around Donner. Joni joins me in the first part, riding next to me on my bike. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to have my two buddies there to cheer me one, along with my wonderful husband. It gives me energy to have them there and I can't wait to see them on the other side of the finish. Joni snaps a few photos, gives me some words of encouragement then rides back to the finish area to wait. I'm being passed by all the half distance athletes on their first loop around Donner - they are making it look easy. I'm envious. I get passed by what would turn out to the first female finisher and you would never know she just rode 56 miles on that bike course. I head into Donner State park where families are camping and swimming - I briefly consider joining them for a hot dog and dip in the lake. I know what's coming in a few minutes. The nasty hill on the backside of the lake. I'm happy I only have to run it once this time (during our marathon training, hitting that thing three times was torture). Everyone is walking up that hill, even the elite looking athletes who are doing the half distance. I am reassured by the fact that hill is making everyone walk. I get to the top and see an aid station, where I head over to refill my water. Then I see the most glorious sight of all - potato chips. A huge bowl of potato chips. I don't usually eat potato chips, especially Ruffles because they are so salty. But today? I grab as big a handful as I can and stuff them into my mouth as the helpful volunteer is going over all the goodies available for the taking. I don't care about the licorice, the gels, etc. Give me more potato chips. I wash them down with a few swigs of water and get going again. At this point, I feel like I'm the only one out on the course still but I know the half distance athletes still have to make another loop. The rolling hills aren't too horrible but at this point, I'm ready to be done. I want food. I want a Coke. And I want to lay down. But I keep trucking along, walking and running, running and walking. I see cars driving by with their bikes already loaded and know that I'm still out on the course while these folks have finished, celebrated, packed up and are driving home. It's a bit demoralizing but at the same time, I think to myself "next time, I train and train appropriately". I suddenly hear the race announcer and know I am close. I shuffle along and turn right into the beginning of the chute. Make a left and there it is....the finish. OMG. I'm going to actually finish this thing. An Olympic distance triathlon. No matter that I am *pretty sure* I'm DFL in the Oly distance. I don't care. I cross the finish and start to cry. They give me this small, rather plain medal but at that point, it's more beautiful than any Disney medal I've ever gotten. This represents mind and heart. What I lacked in physical ability, I made up for with my heart and soul. I didn't let myself get defeated by my head. 
I hug my husband and friends. It warms my heart to have these ladies here and it means the world to me to have my husband here. I wouldn't be able to do these races or train the way I do without his support. We stand around chatting for a few, cheer the first female finisher for the half distance then I realize I'm starving and my legs hurt. I say goodbye to Cherie and Joni then head into transition to gather up my things. As we pile into the car and head out of Donner, I realize I'm capable of so much more than I think and anything is possible if I believe in myself. I didn't have a lot of goals for this race but the ones I did have, the most important ones....well, those are the ones I met. I wanted a 33 minute swim and I did that - easily and without much effort. Goal #1 met. I didn't want to have to get off my bike and walk up that damn hill. And I didn't. Goal #2 met. But most of all, I wanted to finish and have the desire to come back and do it again. Goal #3 met. It is at this moment, I think about my coach and how she always believes in me, no matter what. I knew she wasn't exactly thrilled I had registered for this in the midst of marathon training but she supported me and did what she could to help me prepare for this with her words of encouragement. Caolan believed in me until I was able to believe in myself. She's taught me that running is more than just our bodies. It's what is in our minds and hearts as well.
This triathlon has reignited a desire that I suspected was there all along. I am ready to switch my focus from long distance running to triathlons. I'm ready to make a commitment and complete a half Ironman distance next year. I have to keep my focus on my immediate goals, which is completing the Portland and New York marathons 28 days apart. That will be my biggest challenge yet. After New York, I have to sit down and figure out what I want from 2016 and how I will go about getting it. At this point, I have no idea. Donner has given me enough confidence to get through these two marathons, no matter what. Life has no limits. We impose our own limits sometimes and it keeps us from doing the very things we desire out of fear.
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