Running Down a Dream at the Chicago Marathon

I have wanted to run with Team in Training for the Leukemia Society for a few years now. My father in law was diagnosed in the mid-2000’s with AML and I always thought it would be one way I could support him. On October 8^th of this year, I finally was able to realize that dream. Last year when I signed on with TNT to run the Chicago marathon, I knew it was going to be an interesting training cycle. I registered in November then had surgery in December and promptly started training for my first half Ironman on February 1^st. I had already calculated that between the weeks of recovery I knew coach would give me post half Ironman plus the 2-3 weeks of taper that I usually do for my marathons, it was leaving me with about 9 to 10 weeks of actual training. This is far less than what I am used to. Yes, I did a half Ironman in June but the amount of running required for that is nowhere near what a marathon training cycle entails. My miles in July didn’t even total 70. So with that being said, I trained for Chicago without any real expectations. I wasn’t sure how race day would go and frankly, I was running this in memory of my father in law who had passed away from leukemia two years prior. Which is why I was running with Team in Training for the LLS. The amount of support I received from people who had never even met me was amazing – I received numerous donations from folks I only knew through Facebook and that included a $250 anonymous donation. I was touched that so many contributed and made Chicago possible for me. It will be appreciated more than you know.

My mom passed away in 2009 and this Wonder Woman made me cry <3 

So as training progressed and I ran a hilly 18 miler that felt amazing, my mind started to think that I might actually be able to PR this race. I had not been training to PR nor was it really the focus for me. But after that run, I realized that I was in a position to PR. Unfortunately, the Chicago weather had other ideas. As I begin my obsessive weather checking a month out….yes, I said a month out….lol….I realized it was probably going to warmer than I would like. I don’t tend to run well in temps over 65 degrees. And it was going to be close to that at the START. Ugh. I’ve run Portland twice in hot as hell temps (78 and 82 degrees) so it’s not that I couldn’t do it. I just knew my chances for a PR would be very slim. After discussing it with the coach, we agreed that going out at a pace that would net me a 5:10 marathon time would be good and if need be, I could adjust to the climbing temperature while still finishing in a decent time. My current PR is 5:08 on a cold winter day and my Portland pace was 5:26 in 82 degrees. So…I figured that I might be somewhere in between that.

The happy send off from the best spectator ever!

Found Amy!

Race morning was so much more pleasant than New York. Both of these are big races at 45,000 and 50,000 runners approximately so fairly comparable. But the logistics of Chicago made the entire race experience more fun. I wasn’t really nervous which is always weird for me. I used to get so anxious that I would feel like throwing up before big races. The last few (CIM, CDA70.3 and Chicago), there weren’t really any nerves. More like overwhelming gratitude that my body allows me to these things. And that is the best feeling ever. Sandra walked both Jenna and I to our starting corrals then gave us a big hug saying she would see us in a few miles. I knew that I would have a ton of support along the course between her, Carol and Andrea and the gang from the From Fat to Finish Line group. Sandra was going to be at several points along the race plus I knew I would see Carol and Andrea popping up here and there. The FFTFL had a water station at mile 22 which was great. So with a happy, grateful heart I hopped into my corral about 20 min prior to the start time. Ended up running into Amy who had also had “run into” at the train station in New Jersey when we both ran the New York City Marathon. So we hung out in the corral together until the start. We were slated to go at 8:35 and I think they got our corral across that start line by 8:37 or 8:38 which is pretty damn good. I wasn’t thrilled about the late start time because I knew that meant I would be running in the heat of the day but I couldn’t do much about it.

Boystown!

One of the times I wasn't smiling

Mile 23

My coach had already warned me about the Garmin thing so I didn’t even pay attention to it and instead, put it on the screen with the timer going. I had my splits written down and attached to my handheld so I knew as long as I hit the mile markers at the times she gave me, I wasn’t going out too fast or two slow. And good thing because I would later see my Garmin telling me I had run 6, 7 and 8 minute miles in the first 10-15k….lol. I did hit my first mile at just over 11 minutes which was too fast so I pulled back and the next one was around 11:40, then 11:35, 11:46 and so on (my given pace was 11:46). I was doing a great job pacing and felt really good. I thought to myself what a shame that the day was to be warm because I truly feel I would have been able to PR this race. But I was just happy to be running! Chicago is an amazing experience and I recommend this race to everyone! Out of all the marathons I’ve done, this is by far my favorite. I knew right after New York that I would never really want to run it again; I knew before I was halfway done with Chicago that I wanted to come back and do it again.

Early in race - first 10 miles?

The spectators were amazing, the neighborhoods flowed into one another and the course just had an atmosphere of fun about it. My face hurt after the race from smiling so much even though I was miserably hot. I was diligent about my nutrition just as I always am but I knew with the heat, it would be important to stay on top of the electrolytes and pay attention to how much extra fluid I was taking in. I was drinking one handheld per hour which had my Infinit in it plus taking 2 SaltSticks every hour on the hour. The last hour of the race, I added an extra SaltStick because of the extra water I had taken in after mile 20. This resulted in feeling pretty darn good for the entire race, no GI issues, no cramping and no bonking. I hit the 13.1 mile mark right on pace (I might have been about a minute faster than planned) but then it started to get warm. So for the next 5k, I slowed my pace down to around 12 min/miles to see if that would help. But it was still too fast for the temperature, which by this time was easily mid 70’s. By the end of the race, it would hit nearly 80 degrees.

Still smiling at mile 23

So I slowed it down to 12:15 minutes miles on the next 5k and that felt okay. I decided if I made it to the 20 mile mark at or under 4 hours, I was going to just enjoy the last 10k. I knew this would allow to still have a faster time than Portland and also give me to chance to soak in the last moments of Chicago. I was so happy with this decision – that last 10k was actually a lot of fun even though it was hot as hell out. There was minimal shade and I couldn’t find ice to save my life. But I still was enjoying myself, dancing around on the course and made time to stop at the FFTFL water station to get some hugs, a Happy Birthday and chat for a moment.

Best surprise ever from the FFTL crew!

Getting a big hug from Patty - sorry for the sweat!

I also hung out with a T-Rex and high fived more little kids than I can count. And I loved seeing Carol and Andrea around Chinatown although their offer of an eggroll made me grimace….lol. I had also caught Sandra around miles 3, 14 and knew she was up ahead at around mile 25 ½. That was enough to keep me going. I was sweating like crazy and just looking forward to getting my shoes off. My clothes were sopping wet as I had been dumping water all over myself and in that humidity, the moisture just didn’t evaporate. I love my dry climate; that humidity is for the birds! So I was hot, sweaty, wet and sticky. Gross.

One of my favorite sections of the course! Mile 21

But grinning from ear to ear. After I saw Sandra and knew I had under a mile to go, I started to get teary eyed. All the cheers of “GO TEAM” from the TNT folks resonated in my head. I hadn’t thrown in the towel just as Pops had taught me. I had made the most of my day despite the unfavorable weather and done my best with what I could. I’m learning it’s about the entire journey, not just what that clock says at the finish. I cry at every race finish and this one was no different. I got a hold of myself as I headed up that stupid “hill” – Roosevelt isn’t really a hill but it feels like Mt. Everest at the end of a marathon. As you come down the other side and make a left, there it is….the finisher’s chute. I was a bit confused at first because I hadn’t expected it to be so close…lol. But then I started to run and crossed the finish line with a time of 5:23:34. I was more than happy with this. It was my second fastest marathon and given the limited training time along with the heat, I was very proud of this accomplishment. Not every race needs to be a PR to feel amazing or go down in the books as the best race ever. It’s been two years since I’ve had a day of magic like that in a marathon. Portland in 2015 was the last time I felt like this - where the entire day was just everything I could ever have hoped for and then some. Chicago was a repeat of that day and I’m so very grateful. I was honored to race with Team in Training and for my father-in-law. It means a lot to me as that is how I got started running in the first place, with a charity in remembrance of somebody. I am looking forward to coming back and doing it again next year.

Yeah, it's early and I'm grinning like an idiot ;-)

Not nearly as impressive as the NYCM sponges but watch your step!

Showing off the bling with Karla

 It’s also great to finish a race feeling quite beat up, go to bed and wake up feeling pretty damn good the next day. I always marvel at how I’m ready to run again within a few days of a marathon. Our bodies are amazing machines – if we train right, run a smart race and recover right, our bodies reward us by feeling good. As always, I owe a huge thanks to my coach. Without her guidance and coaching, I would have wrecked myself by now. She is so great at what she does and I’ve learned a real joy of running in working with her. And I am very thankful to my family – without their support and patience, there is no way I could put in the training necessary to run marathons as well as I do. Marathon #6 is in the books! Time to recover and enjoy a few weeks of easy paced running J

Ironman Coeur d'Alene 70.3 - A girl can dream

My first 70.3 and it was a most amazing day!! Woke up on time, had some breakfast, checked and double checked my gear to make sure I had everything then woke up my hubby would be taking me down to the athlete village to start the race. When we arrived, it suddenly hit me what I was about to do. I kind of lost my shit. Saw Marty at the body marking and just started crying from the flood of emotions - fear, excitement, disbelief. Marty hugged me tightly and helped me get my breathing under control. Headed into transition to get my spot all ready. Laid everything out then grabbed my wetsuit and went to find my husband. 

After he helped me get my wetsuit on, I got into the lake for a short warm up. At one point, I turned over to face the sky and floated in the water while laughing and yelling out "holy shit, I'm doing a 1/2 Ironman". The atmosphere was so charged, the weather was perfect and the lake was smooth as glass. It truly was the calm before the storm. That would change once several thousand athletes were in the water, churning things up. I lined up in the appropriate corral - 36 to 45 minutes and put myself towards the back. I was hoping for a 42-43 min swim but would be happy with a 45 min swim.

I caught a glimpse of my husband who mouthed to me "I believe in you". That was enough to start more tears. This was it. I put my goggles on and headed down to the beach. The rolling start was simply amazing. 3-4 of us in the water at a time and I didn't even feel anyone near me for the first few hundred meters. I was trying to keep myself calm and not think about what was swimming in the water with me (yes, I have HUGE issues with open water and can totally panic if I'm not in a good place). At one point, I opened my eyes in the hopes I could follow the feet in front of me, saw a fish and that was it. No more opening my eyes underwater. Nope. I was breathing to the right because the sun was coming over the mountains to the left and it was hard to see. I've never been in the water with that many people at once and it created quite a bit of chop. I was hoping I wouldn't get seasick...lol. Hit the red buoy which mean the first turn. That meant I would be getting to the orange buoys soon!!! Orange buoys started at the 1/2 way point. Yes!! I was in a groove and moving pretty swiftly. I was pretty sure I'd be hitting my goal pace of 42-43 minutes. I rounded the last turn and was on my way back to shore. The course is a very long rectangle so I still had a fair amount to swim. As I was cruising along, I was suddenly with massive charlie horses in both calves. OMG. The pain literally took my breath away. I tried to keep making forward progress while feeling like I was going to drown. I can see why people drown from cramping. Seriously. I thought about calling a kayak over then decided I would just focus on something other than the pain in my calves and let my legs drag behind me. It slowed me down considerably but I was still moving forward. As I got to shore, I wasn't sure if I would be able to stand up. My calves were in a lot of pain. I was a little disoriented then saw they had wetsuit strippers. YES!!! I told them about my calves, they helped me lay down while peeling off my wetsuit. After they helped me up, I hobbled up to transition to get dried off and get ready for the bike. By this time, the cramping had stopped and my calves were just feeling sore. Hopefully, this wouldn't be a problem on the bike. Swim time was just over 46 minutes so I didn't hit my goals but this would later not be an issue for me.

Grabbed my bike off the rack, headed out of T1, got slathered with sunscreen and I was on my way. I knew the first 14-16 miles of the bike were not super hilly but I also knew I had 40 miles of hills at the end of the course so I paced myself pretty well in that first bit. I could have gone faster but I was pretty happy with my 16mph or so pace. I saw lots of athletes on the side of the road with flats and prayed I could get through this without  one. I cruised through that first section feeling awesome and when we hit town again, the energy was amazing. The crowds were lining the streets and I had a huge grin on my face. This was fun!! We turned onto 95 and having driven the course, I knew where the hills would start. Hit the first hill and just kept a nice, steady spin going in my easiest gear. I've done worse than this in training; I've got this. At that point, I saw the lead men hauling ass down the mountain. Andy Potts blew past me at an incredible speed as did the other two. Beautiful to watch and it made me excited to come down that at the end. After making it up Cougar Gulch, I knew I only had 2 more major hills to contend with. I was doing some calculations and had already figured out if I could keep my pace to where it was, I was going to get a sub 4hr bike. Woohoo!!! Made it up Mica and thought to myself "was that all?". 

This was a good sign that I wasn't feeling like dying. Nutrition was going well; I was sipping regularly from my Speedfil and taking in little bits of water from the bottle on my aero bars. After hitting the turn around at Setters Rd, we hit some headwinds. That kind of sucked but again, nothing I haven't trained in. It did keep me from hitting some good speed on the downhills; I think the fastest time clocked was around 39mph. The last long climb was......long. But after hitting that and heading back down the hills, I looked at my bike computer and realized I was not only going to get a sub 4hr bike, but I was going to kill my A goal. I came hauling ass into town; my last 5 mile split on the bike was almost 20mph. That is really fast for me. Bike time was 3:46:38 which was over 13 minutes faster than my A goal of 3:59.

The run. Oh dear lord, the run. I had to take a few extra minutes  in T2 to collect myself. It was already in the high 80's, I was dripping sweat and the idea of having to go out in the sun and run 13 miles really did not appeal to me. I wanted to lay in the shade at transition and take a nap. LOL. But I got up and headed out, stopping to kiss my husband and see my kids. I knew from my Garmin that I had over 3 1/2 hours to get the run portion done before the cutoff time. This was a relief. I knew I could WALK a half marathon that time; I've done it before. I decided to keep it to 12:45 pace and was doing okay. I stopped at every aid station to shove ice in my bra and under my hat. A huge thank you to whoever suggested a hat over a visor! As I hit each mile marker, I did the math. I was actually going to get a sub 8hr 1/2 Ironman finish time. Holy shit. That was more than I allowed myself to dream for my first 70.3 and a tough course in the heat at that. I am NOT a warm weather runner so this was huge to me. I kept trucking along, chatting with other athletes, encouraging those who looked like they were struggling and thanking the volunteers. The folks with the bagpipes meant the world to me; I'm part Scottish and it made me feel as though my nana was there on the course with me. I loved the run course - despite the heat, the locals were all out with their sprinklers and hoses spraying us down. The little kids were out there with high fives and shouting out "you're doing awesome". I danced with the kiddos and played in the sprinklers those last few miles.  When I hit the park and it splits off into the 1st  lap and 2nd lap, I was never so happy to go left and be on my way to the finish. There was kid holding a sign that said "remember your why". That brought more tears and smiles. My run time was 2:50:10 which was my B goal.

I headed down that last street before the turn to Sherman. Stopped to walk slowly for a minute while gathering my thoughts. I could not believe I was about to finish my first 1/2 Ironman. Me. The girl who used to be 65lbs heavier. The girl, who 9 years ago this month was in rehab for drugs and alcohol. And here I was, in the home stretch of a 70.3 and feeling pretty darn good. I came down Sherman and spotted Marty. I pulled off my red volunteer wristband, handed it to her with a smile and gave her a huge hug. Sometimes, that one volunteer can make all the difference in your race. Marty was that person for me on the course. I went another block and saw my best friend, my partner, the love of my life standing there on the course. He gave me a huge hug then told me to go get my medal. I hit that red carpet and all I remember is screaming for joy as I came into the finish. My goals for this race were: A-7:59, B-8:15, C-8:30. My finish time? 7:40:34. I'm still in disbelief that I conquered CDA70.3 in that heat and finished with a time beyond what I thought I was capable of. 

Napa Valley Triathlon: Adapting on the fly, part II

In my last entry, I was having trouble before the swim portion even began. After trying to swim a few strokes freestyle and realizing I couldn't breathe and my goggles were filling up with water, I flipped over to backstroke. And did the entire swim backstroking. It actually went really well and I finished the swim portion feeling very strong!! Time was 18:10 for the 750m; definitely not my fastest but considering I backstroked, I was thrilled. Which was good because that middle discipline, the bike, is the most unfamiliar to me and I needed to feel strong getting on the bike. Running up to transition was pretty horrible; my feet were totally numb yet running over dirt and rocks was surprisingly painful. I made it to my transition spot and proceeded to take my time drying off then layering well for the bike. I knew it was going to be cold and I have never ridden my bike below 65 degrees before - current temps were around 38-40 degrees. I even had taped hand warmers to the tops of my cycling shoes...lol. I finished in transition and was ready to hit the bike section. T1 time was 5:32 (definitely need to work on this).

All I have to say is the bike portion was damn fun! I loved every single minute of it even though I could not feel my feet at all and my hands were so cold that shifting and braking was a little bit of a struggle. But I am pretty sure I had a grin on my face the entire bike. Rolling hills are my favorite and I'm a decent climber. So I would sneak up behind someone then pass them on the climb and haul ass down the other side. I'm also not afraid of going fast. I was not supposed to push this race as it was a training run so I did keep the bike effort to a moderate level. Overall, I was happy with my bike. I do wish I had operated my Garmin correctly because I noticed partway through the bike that something was amiss. I found out later on that somehow, my bike got recorded as my T2 time - that was the longest T2 time ever! Bike time was 57:38 for the 12.4 mile bike and T2 time was 4:26 (again, this needs serious work).

I came into T2 feeling good, feeling strong and happy. Now....this would be my first brick since 2013. So I knew it was going to be interesting. As I headed out on the run, I realized I still could not feel my feet. Joy. And I realized I was running way too fast for my first mile. What was that about? My legs actually felt really good after getting off the bike. Hmmm. Regardless, I slowed down a bit and worked on pacing myself. I knew there was a decent sized hill right in the middle of the 5k course. I had been running at an 11:45 pace or so for my training runs so I wasn't expecting big things out of this run. I was pleasantly surprised at how well I was running and my feet finally thawed out around mile 3 of the run. I headed down the last stretch of road before the finish line and when I realized I would make my goal of under 2 hours, I was thrilled. My finish time was 1:59:10 and I couldn't be happier. This race was a learning experience and a training race. I now know what I need to work on going forth into the next race, my Olympic distance next month. Coming back from major surgery has been hard but not impossible. I've had to learn patience and it's paying off. Hard to believe in a few months, I will be going much farther in the swim, bike and run - and that I will be racing 4 x as long most likely, possibly a bit longer. My goal for CDA70.3 is just to make that cutoff and enjoy myself while doing it. Those are pretty good goals, I think :-)

Napa Valley Triathlon: adapting on the fly, part I

Placed 8th out of 17th - not bad for a training race!

I signed up for the HITS Napa sprint triathlon a couple months ago with the intention of using it as a training race to get comfortable with things transition (I suck at them) and being in the water with other swimmers who like to grab, push and swim over you. I also excited as it would be the first triathlon that I actually was being trained for as opposed to the Lake Tahoe sprint and Donner Olympic which I did in the middle of marathon training and as my coach put it "relied on my running fitness to get me through". As race day approached, however, my excitement started to wan a bit - the lake temperature was not so promising. I already knew that the swim was known to be a cold one but it was looking like cold was an understatement. I've been in cold water before since Tahoe is the nearest body of water to practice any OWS in. It was going to be interesting to see how I tolerated water colder than Tahoe. And it gets better - the weather forecast was shaping up to be cold as well. It's ironic as I am usually worried about race day being too HOT, not too cold (I hate running when it's over 60 degrees). But I've never been on the bike when it's been less than 65-70 degrees and I certainly have never willingly gone swimming when it's been 40-50 degrees out. Oh dear. And I would be going to this race solo. My husband couldn't get the time off work so I would be on my own making the 4+ hour drive over to Napa. It's been a while since I've gone off on my own. I wouldn't be completely alone as I was meeting a fellow triathlete named Sara who I had met via our tri club, the Best Tri Club Ever. She lived near there and it was her first Olympic distance. We had already made plans to meet up this summer at Tahoe so I was looking forward to meeting her and possibly having an opportunity to cheer her on at the finish of the race.

It was SO cold that morning - setting up transition

Par for the course whenever I have to drive over the mountains, it was dumping snow the morning I had to leave. Yay! I carefully made my way over the pass and arrived safely at the hotel. Headed out to Lake Berryessa where the race was being held and where packet pick up was at. Oh, so much driving! It was about an hour drive from the hotel. As I got closer to the race site, I started seeing some 140.6 distance athletes still out on the bike. In the cold. And rain. Mad props to them. I would later find out that night they pulled about 30 athletes for hypothermia and it was a miserable race day due to the cold. I found the parking area and checked in, receiving my packet. It was real now. I was excited to be doing the first race in this training cycle for IMCDA 70.3. Headed down to the water where some athletes were getting in some swim practice and checking the water. Dipped my feet in and it didn't feel too bad. The sun had started to peek out and my spirits were high. This was going to be fun! I stayed a while to cheer on some of the 70.3 finishers who were coming in just under the cutoff. Then hopped in the Jeep and drove another hour back to the hotel. Tired of freaking driving, I was looking forward to a hot bath. Only...no bathtub at the hotel. Damn it. Picked up some Chipotle for dinner and then went through, setting everything out for the morning. I would have to leave the hotel around 4:30am to get to the race location in time to set up in transition. After I checked everything (twice....okay, maybe three times), it was time for bed.

Taped hand warmers to my cycling shoes...lol

I never have problems waking up on race morning and this was no different. Got dressed, grabbed one of my Superhero muffins from Eat Slow Run Fast cookbook and water then headed out the door. Arrived at the race to what seemed a bit chaotic and had to park what seemed to be about a mile away from transition. Oh, good. Dragging all my shit down there was going to be fun. Once I made my way into transition, I was pretty pleased with all the space each athlete had not to mention a little stool to sit on. So spoiled. I texted Sara to find out where she was at and not too much longer later, I saw her heading my way. Introduced each other, she helped me get on my wetsuit and then she was off to help Whitney (another fellow Best Tri Club Ever athlete) with an issue with her tires.

I was all zipped up and ready to go. Plodded down to the water and looked at the mist rising up from the lake. I should mention at this time...it was 38 degrees out and the current water temp was 57. Yep, I was going to freeze my ass off. I decided to skip the warm up swim as I was worried I would get too cold waiting for my wave. Once they called for the 30-39 and 40-49 women, I headed out to wait for the start. Took off for the swim and almost immediately realized that putting my face in the water was creating an odd sensation in my chest. It was like I couldn't breathe and my chest was super tight. I did some doggy paddling while my brain raced to figure out what to do. It was also at this time realized my goggles weren't sealing correctly on my face - the rubber was so cold and stiff that it wasn't forming a nice seal and hence, my goggles were leaking. To be continued......

Folsom Lake 50k: pushing past my limits. "We like to think we know things about ourselves. Those things are often what limit us" - Caolan

My first 50k. I’m not even sure where to begin. It’s been over a year and I’m just now getting around to writing about it. What does that say?? I’m still not sure how I feel about this race. It’s eerily reminiscent of Portland 2014, where I feel like I need a “do over”. Nothing went the way I planned, expected or wanted – other than the fact I finished under the cutoff and I was not DFL. I did learn that I can keep going even when I want so badly to just throw in the towel. I also learned never to believe the elevation profile listed. This 50k was only supposed to be about 2800ft of elevation gain and turned out to be over 3200ft.

The weeks leading up to the 50k were not good. I developed a sinus infection, strep throat and double ear infections. My stomach doesn't do so well with antibiotics and I was very nervous about having to take them so close to a race. Not to mention I was also missing training time. My coach assured me that I would be fine for the race even if I missed a chunk of runs this close to the race. I put my trust in her and *tried* not to freak out.

The calm before the storm :-)

We headed over the hill for the race and par for the course, it was dumping rain. Because it's always bad weather when I have go to Sacramento for races. We head to Fleet Feet and I pick up my packet. Now, it's real. I'm going to be running 31 miles around Folsom Lake. We grab a bite to eat and this is where things probably start to go wrong. I usually have pizza for dinner before most of my bigger races. We let the boy choose where to eat and he chose In-n-Out.

It really is a pretty course!

Yep, a cheeseburger the night before a 50k might not have been the wisest choice. I get to bed at a decent time and actually sleep. The next morning, I make my second mistake. My stomach is nervous so I decide to skip my usual oatmeal or toast with PB and banana. I eat a KIND bar. Not usually a problem but this was a deviation from my usual pre-race food. We leave a little later than I would like and I'm worried about getting to the start on time. Yet another thing that throws me for a loop and doesn't help my already harried nerves. As we pull up, I have less than 5 minutes to get to the start and it's a bit of a walk from the parking lot. I kiss the hubby and boy goodbye, say that I will see them in about 8 hours or so then shuffle off to the start.

I see another skirt wearer and strike up a conversation. Her name is Mimi and we decide to hang together for a bit. She's doing the 35k so I will have company for a good stretch of the race. As we head across Folsom Dam (pretty much the only flat part of the race), we chat about races. So far, so good. I can tell it's going to turn out to be a warm day. I stop to take off my top layer a few miles into the race. It's a gorgeous course but I can tell that I didn't train for lots and lots of ups and downs. I trained more on steep climbs and steep descents. That's what my legs are used to. They are not liking all the rolling hills and would rather be trucking up the side of a mountain right now. I let Mimi know that I have to pick up the pace a bit because I have a cutoff to make. The 35k folks don't have to worry about the cutoff but I do. Before I even get to mile 10, I have to stop for the bathroom. This is not a good sign. I've run marathons without having to stop. WTF.

Mimi and I in the first few miles

Mimi waits for me and we start down the trail again after I'm done. I try not to think about the 20+ miles yet to come. I glance at my Garmin and realize I really need to pick it up a little; I'm concerned because the time limit for the course is 8 hours and I know I have to maintain a certain pace. I tell Mimi I will meet her at the bottom of one of the hills. I'm also hoping there is a bathroom at the next aid station because my GI system is really unhappy. I come up to where the aid station is supposed to be but it's not directly on the trail. Nope. It's up this steep incline. Unsure of whether I want to make the trek up there, I call out to the volunteers asking if there is a bathroom. Negative. That makes my decision easy. Not stopping. It's also the turn around for Mimi so I'm not sure if I will see her again.

Gorgeous greenery

I head off into the wilderness alone. I decide I can't wait for the next aid station to see if there is a porta potty so I pull off the trail and hope I'm not traipsing through poison oak. I tried to educate myself before coming over here on what it looks like but I'm actually clueless. I have to repeat this every 2-3 miles and it's miserable. I come up to this crest on the hill and I see it's a nice downhill stretch to the turn around point in the race. I embrace the downhill and enjoy giving my legs a bit of a rest. Pick up a few snacks at the aid station, make sure I've got enough water in my pack and then turn around to head back up the hill I just came down. At this point, I'm stressing over cutoffs and I had inquired at the aid station where I was in regards to this. They said I was 17 minutes ahead of the cutoff but I'm confused because that would put the cutoff closer to 8 1/2 hours, not 8 hours. I feel the pressure of needing to move a bit faster but my stomach simply won't allow 17 min pace at this point. I try to run and have to walk; this pattern continues along with my bathroom stops.

By this time, I've run out of places for the bathroom and find myself facing Folsom Lake while all the boaters are out on the water, enjoying their day. It's hot as well, I'm sweating like a pig and my stomach is killing me. I consider quitting at each aid station I come across and then think, "I'll give it to the next aid station". And so on. I have to go somewhere else in my mind. There are tears. I think about my husband and son waiting for me at the finish line. I'm texting my coach and friend Sandra. Close to the cutoff at each aid station, all I can think about is how pissed I will be if I endured this for 8+ hours only to be told at the end that I'm not an official finisher because I didn't make the cutoff. F*ck that. I think back to the book Esther got for me, How Bad Do You Want It by Matt Fitzgerald. I try to recall passages from the book and that helps my mind move forward a bit.

Coming down into the last aid station

Lots of hills :-)

At the last aid station, with maybe 3 miles to go, I consider one last time quitting. By this time, my stomach is cramping so bad and I'm doubled over half the time. People strolling with their dogs are passing me on the trail. Humility at its finest! I see the dam and know that I have about a mile to go. I emerge from the trail and set foot on the dam. I can see the finish across the lake. So close. I get asked if there is a race somewhere and it occurs to me I'm out there, running (okay, maybe it doesn't resemble running much by this time) with a bib on while people are out with the kids, pushing strollers and walking dogs. Um, yeah...I look a little out of place. I smile and say "I think there's a race and I think I'm running it" then muster up a chuckle. By this time, I know if the cutoff is 8 hours, I have failed. But if it's 8 1/2 hours, I still have a chance. I text my husband to tell him to have a change of clothes for me and my recovery drink. I got this.

This kept me going...

Always looking at that darn Garmin!

As I hit the other end of the dam, a volunteer runs alongside me, cheering me on. While it doesn't sound fast, my last 1/2 mile was at a pace of 13:51. When you consider my overall pace was over 16 min/miles, it's pretty damn speedy....lol. My little boy meets me a few hundred yards from the finish and runs in with me. As I cross the finish, I am doubled over with exhaustion, pain and joy. I am an ultra runner. Me. The girl who couldn't run one stinking lap around the track just ran a 50k. I throw myself on the ground as hubby helps get my shoes and socks off then hands me my drink. I chug my recovery drink then realize I didn't get a medal. They ran out. Huh?? I will have to wait to get it in the mail. I inquire about the cutoff. They state it was changed a few days ago from 8 hours to 8 1/2 hours. Holy shit, I made the cut off!! It's official. And....I was NOT last. Two people finished after me! Woohoo!! I still haven't decided how I feel about that race as my trail marathon just weeks prior was a much better experience. Not all races can go the way we want. Folsom Lake 50k left me wanting more but it will have to wait until another time. I've got other big things to focus on at the moment. But someday, I'll be back for another crack at an ultra. My coach said once "we like to think we know things about ourselves. Those things are often what limit us". And never have I found this to be more true than this past year or so.

Fought harder for this finish line than any other race

Canyon Meadows Trail Marathon: A Discovery in Self

Getting ready to head out for 26.2 miles

In March, I decided to run my first trail marathon as a training run for the 50k which would be five weeks later. It would be my last long run before the big day at Folsom Lake Trail 50k.  I purposely choose Canyon Meadows Marathon in the Bay area which had an elevation gain of 3000ft, which was a few hundred feet more than the 50k.  I figured that if I could make it through a trail marathon with more elevation, I would good to go for the 50k.  As race day approached, I started to have huge anxiety because the longest run I had done up to that point was 14 miles. Having done three road marathons, this freaked me out. I am used to 18, 20 miles runs in preparation for a road marathon. But I trusted my coach when she told me I would be fine and that I couldn't compare the two - trails and road. She's done enough of both and I had faith in her coaching.

I was nervously keeping an eye on the weather because it was supposed to be raining on race day.  I'm fine running in the rain, even enjoy it but on trails, you never know if this will lead to a muddy mess on the course. I've had enough experience running in the mud to know that it's a pain in the ass.  Fun but a pain in the ass and I didn't feel like doing it for 26 miles. Thankfully, on race morning the weather looked like it would be perfect. Some scattered light showers here and there with moderate temperatures.  The rain wouldn't get bad until later in the afternoon, around the time I was going to be finishing. I was cool with that :-) 



The mudpit in the first mile

Hubby dropped me off at the start area to pick up my bib. I wasn't really nervous as I was looking at this like a training run but I was excited. It would be my 4th marathon and my first trail marathon. This was something I never saw myself doing.  As we lined up to listen to the course instructions, I was grateful that Tony had given me a run down of the course, especially the first hill right out of the start. Not only was that hill practically straight up but it was a big muddy mess. Two runners actually lost their shoes in the mud, which was hilarious. And I watched a few others try to go around it by going off course and ending up in poison oak. Yeah, I decided just to trudge through the mud and stay in the shallow sections. The first hill climbed for about a mile or so and I was happy when the trail flattened out a bit. I did learn, however, that I am a pretty decent power hiker up hills. This is a good thing since I will be doing quite a bit of that at Tahoe. I decided to really pay attention to walking up all the hills then running the flats/downhills nice and easy. I knew it was a two loop course and was focused on trying to pace myself.

If you look carefully, you can see the bay :-)

The views were beautiful and at one point, you could see the bay from the trail. I stopped to take a fair amount of pictures (more about all that time lost later...a lesson learned). Hit the first aid station and filled up my front flask with Tailwind. I had started the race with about a liter of water in the back reservoir and one flask filled with Tailwind in the front. Then I had a small 5oz flask filled with concentrated Tailwind - 1oz was about 200 calories.  When I filled up the 500ml flask at the first aid station, I added 1oz of the Tailwind concentrate as well. I had brought additional snacks such as Justin's Almond Butter packs, Honey Stinger Waffles and a Honey Stinger gel. I wasn't sure how fueling was going to go but that's why I was running this race - as a learning tool for other trail runs to come. The aid station volunteers were all really nice and then they heard it was my first trail marathon, they responded with "and you picked THIS one??  Nice!"  Same thing from some fellow runners on the course. 

Trails make my heart happy

As I came down the backside of the mountain at the end of the first loop, I was surprised at (1) how good I felt and (2) my time. Before I started the race, I was figuring about 8 hours for a finishing time. The course limit was 8 hours 45 minutes because they were running a 50k on the same course. I came into the aid station that was around mile 11 and stopped to chat for a few minutes then they told me my pace. I was on target to hit about 3:30 for that first loop. I decided I would take it easy the next mile or two to finish out the loop since I knew I had that monster hill climb at the start of the second loop. The last stretch of the loop was my least favorite. Because of all the rain, they had to reroute part of the course as the trail wasn't runnable and blocked by downed trees.  So it was on a paved bike/walking path. Not my favorite thing after being on the trail for 3+ hours. I pulled into the start/finish line which is where the aid station was before starting the second loop.  Tony had warned me about this as well; his words were "get in, get out" because the half marathoners were hanging around, eating burgers and drinking beer. Mentally, I knew it would be hard to take off for another loop with that going on. So I quickly stopped to have the water refilled in my pack, take a few salt tabs and be on my way. As I headed up the big hill, some of the 35k runners were coming down the hill and saying to me "almost there" or "the turn around is close".  I would chuckle thinking how I had an entire loop to run.

It's funny; the second time on the loop, it occurred to me that nothing looked familiar. It was like I was on whole other course. Which was kind of nice!  I trucked along, thinking how weird it was that not only was I running a trail race but another marathon. Me. The girl who struggled through her first marathon and said "never again" only to sign up for a second the next week. I also realized that I hadn't once pulled out my earbuds to listen to music. Hours and hours of running without music - that was something I never saw myself doing. For some reason, having music while on the trails doesn't appeal to me. I enjoy being focused on my surroundings and I can't do that with music. Fueling was starting to get a little difficult - I had been good about drinking my Tailwind and taking in salt tabs but I knew I needed a bit more calories than the Tailwind was providing and the sweet stuff I brought just wasn't appealing. I was having to force feed myself the Honey Stinger waffles...and I LOVE the Gingersnap ones. But not this day. It was all I could do to get in the calories. The almond butter packs were okay but I really wanted something savory. I stopped at one of the later aid stations and was chatting with the volunteers when I noticed the potatoes. Potatoes next to a bowl of salt. Oh, heaven. I gobbled up a few of them and it was the best thing I had ever eaten. Then I saw the Coke. Not Pepsi; anyone who knows me knows what a purist I am and won't touch Pepsi. I don't drink Coke on a regular basis but today, I guzzled down a few Dixie cups and told the volunteers they were like trail angels!  So good and it gave that little boost I needed to continue on. By this time, I was out on the course pretty much by myself. I knew there were several 50k runners and a few marathoners behind me somewhere but I wasn't sure how far behind. As I headed into the backside of the loop and down the hill, I felt very isolated. It was both a welcome and unnerving experience.  I started singing The Brady Bunch at the top of my lungs as I seriously expected a bear to come crashing onto the trail at any moment. If I was bear, I would have been hanging out there.

First and foremost

I stopped briefly on the downhill to reflect a little, pull out my AA coin and have a conversation with my Higher Power. It was somewhat of a spiritual experience, being in that last 10k of the marathon, feeling tired, sore and hungry but at the same time, amazed at what I was doing. And I know I wasn't alone out there. I felt a strong presence with me and the tears came. It's amazing what we can do when we set our minds to something and have faith. I said a quiet thank you and had some brief words with my mom, who I KNOW was up there watching me.  She's proud of her little girl who has finally found inner strength and determination. It was time to finish this thing. I resumed flying down the hill - that last part was a lot of fun, despite hyperextending my knee twice (I need to learn to reign it in a bit when coming downhill).  As I passed through that last aid station and got some cheers, my legs felt super heavy and my mind was already thinking of that dreaded last stretch of bike path. I had to pass the finish line for the third time which was mentally challenging.  But as I came into the finish area on my way out to bike path, I saw my husband and grinned. That was exactly what I needed at that moment. I ran over the car, knocked on the window (yes, in the middle of my race!) and got a quick kiss, smile and words of encouragement. Then I was off to complete my first trail marathon. As I headed out on the bike path, the rain started and I felt very alone out there. I didn't see any runners and it was very quiet.  Then I spotted one of the marathoners heading towards me so I knew I was getting close to the turn around. I picked up the pace a little and saw the turn around sign. It was all I could do not to scream with joy. I knew that I had less than a mile to go.

This was a fun section of the course!

I should mention here that I had stopped looking at my Garmin back around mile 22. I knew when I completed the first loop in about 3:30 that even if I walked the second loop, I would make the cut off and maybe even my goal of 8 hours. I didn't walk that second loop but I stopped worrying about time and just enjoyed being out there. I felt like my second loop was slower, much slower but it didn't concern me. I really didn't have an idea of where I was at, time-wise. I was just focused on finishing, seeing my husband and giving him a big hug. I did glance down at my current pace a few times and was shocked to see a 9 min pace- at the end of a difficult trail marathon. What was THAT about??  It put a grin on my face as I came down the bike path and into the area where the finish line was set up.

As I got closer, I saw the clock.  What?!?  I could see the number "6" on the clock for the hours and was in disbelief. How in the hell did I run this thing an hour faster than I anticipated???  With 14 miles being my longest run and not really much of a taper??  Then I got close enough to see "6:58:30 and was determined to get to that finish well under 7 hours.  I came screaming into the finisher's chute (literally) and crossed the finish line, sobbing for joy. Not only did I surpass my goal by over an hour, but I felt like I *could* have kept running and done the 50k.  Of course, that would have meant another climb up that wretched hill and I wasn't really feeling it.  LOL.  The last lonely volunteer at the finish line placed that medal around my neck and all I could think about was how unbelievable it was that I was now a four time marathoner. What? Crazy talk, right there! I hugged my husband and thanked him for being there to support me; it meant the world to me that he was at the finish line. There is nobody I would rather have there than him. He's been my #1 fan and supporter, making it possible for me to continue chasing my dreams.

That is a strong finish!

Then came the ugly part - climbing into the car for the five hour drive home. My legs were going to hate me. We stopped in Sacramento for a bite to eat and for me to stretch my legs. I was really surprised at how good my legs felt. How good everything felt. That is the way I like to race - being challenged yet feeling strong at the end.  Turns out, I wasn't last. I think I came in ahead of about 5-6 other runners. That was kind of nice since I am a total trail newbie. I can't say enough about my coach. She's put up with my doubt, my incessant questions and anxieties. Training under has taught me what it's like to have a really good coach, someone who has the knowledge and experience to take her runners as far as they can imagine going then take them beyond that. It's uncomfortable and scary sometimes....okay, a lot of the time. But I've learned to have that faith and trust in her, following her guidance and am reaping the rewards. I needed this race. It was more than just a race. I connected with that strong woman inside of me. And that spills over into the rest of my life. It's not just about running. It never was.

Stepping backwards in time a bit - my first real trail running experience

Mud, rocks, hills, water crossings...my trail running initiation at the Folsom Sweetwater Trail Half

Having been on the trails less than a total of 10 times, I was rightfully nervous about my first trail half marathon.  Unchartered territory for me, unfamiliar terrain and feeling totally clueless didn't exactly put my mind at ease.  It had been raining for two days straight and all I could think about was how muddy and wet the course would be, especially since it was a much lower elevation and I knew the ground would be softer than we had in the Sierras. But if I'm going to do this thing called trail running then I had better get used to the idea that I can't control the weather nor can I control what the conditions would be come race day.

At the start in my brightly colored SparkleSkirt!

My husband and I arrived in Sacramento after driving through a torrential downpour over the Sierras. We headed for packet pick up where I would learn, much to my horror, that the race director had changed the half marathon course. I tell the lady giving me my bib that this is my first trail race and she immediately looked concerned then said I would want to listen to the change in course directions very carefully. Not a good sign? The race director started to explain and my head was spinning from all the instructions....look for the pink ribbons, now turn this way, follow for 3/4 of a mile, now look for red ribbons, make sure you don't go up the down path, don't go past that orange cone, pick up the pink ribbon path again, etc. Oooooookay. This was going to be an adventure. I told my coach I was pretty sure I was going to get lost and stuck in the mud.  She said "have fun" with a smiley face emoticon. Sigh. No sympathy there! Later that night, I kept looking out the window, waiting for the rain to stop. Nope. Mother Nature was going to make sure I got a proper introduction to running on something other than pavement. 



Gorgeous morning for a run

By morning, the rain had stopped but things were still very wet. Shoved a fig bar and banana down my throat, filled up my reservoir with Tailwind, gathered all my crap and we headed out to the start. The race started in a small parking lot near a place called Salmon Falls in Folsom. The RD once again explained the change in half marathon course, which still didn't make sense. We all lined up and when the race started, we proceeded to......walk. Single file on a very narrow single track for about 1/2 mile or so. No staggered start, huh? Hmmm. So the 10k, 8 milers, half marathoners, 18 milers, 25k and 50k all started out at the same time. We finally got to an area where it thinned out a bit. I had checked what I could online about the course, mainly the elevation and how technical the trail was; most of what I found pointed to about 300ft of elevation gain and not too technical. Wrong on both counts. Don't believe everything you read on the internet...lol.  After a few miles, I quickly realized the elevation gain of this race would be far MORE than 300ft. I have not been running trails long but my legs know the different between flat and hills. It was also a fairly technical course, with very narrow singletrack, muddy areas, some rocky spots and a water crossing (more on that later...hahaha). The course was absolutely gorgeous and while the rain made for some muddy running, it also made everything green and luscious.



My road shoes didn't like this part too much

The early morning fog emphasized the beauty of the area. At about mile 3, I came up on a rushing river. Okay, it was probably a creek but with all the rain, it looked more like a damn whitewater rafting river! I looked around for the bridge because don't most normal people use a bridge to cross water? Apparently, not when running a trail race. I noticed some folks sitting down and taking off their shoes then gingerly making their way across the knee high water. Hmmm. Well, I know I'm not taking off my damn shoes because it would be my luck to accidently drop one which would then be carried away by the current. I figure, what's the worst thing? I run the remaining 10 miles with sopping wet feet. I guess I will find out if I can run with wet feet (and I had dry socks in my pack so I could always stop and change into them). When in Rome...off I went into the water. Got across to the other side and started running again.



Where's the bridge??

Not bad, not bad. I could deal with the squishy shoes and socks. Praying for no blisters, I continued on. After about mile 5, I started to pay attention to the course more as I knew the turn off for the half marathoners was coming up. As I came around a corner, I saw the orange cone that I knew indicated the path I would be running down to meet up with the main trail again. Other half marathoners were coming back towards me on the main trail saying they got lost, there was no turn off, etc. I kept going, figuring I would just run out 6.5 or so and then turn around back to the finish, which would get me my 13 miles. As I passed mile 6, I saw the sign directing the half marathoners off to the left. Aha! I didn't get lost! I followed the red ribbons then saw where it picked up the main trail again.





Stunning green trails and I look forward to coming back here in April

Came up on another half marathoner who had passed me a while back, stating she must have gotten lost and couldn't find the turn off.  We fell in step together, one behind the other chatting about running, work and other various small talk. As we came up on the river (er, creek), I remarked how the course would probably be short as the creek was about 3 miles from the start and we were at about mile 8. That kind of sucked, knowing that my first trail half marathon would likely be more of a trail 10 miler. The water had gotten higher than it was the first time I crossed it but we managed to get across safely and continued heading back towards the start. It was starting to get warm up and it was then I realized a problem with using the damn reservoir in my pack for my hydration/fuel. I couldn't tell how much I had consumed and I was actually out. I had no water left and no Tailwind Well then. Doh. So I guess it was a good thing the course was short! 



My feet never looked like this after a road race...lol

As we came up the last ascent and crossed the finish, they yelled our time. I wasn't doing this for time, thankfully, so I didn't much care that it was slooooooow. I grabbed some snacks off the table, picked up my finisher's certificate - wait, certificate? Where the hell is my medal?  Hahaha. There's another difference between pavement and trail - I don't know of a half marathon I ever did where they didn't hand out medals. Not a big deal to me and it made me realize how much I've changed as a runner from the days that I refused to run a race, no matter what the distance, unless there was a medal at the end. I was just happy to be done and grateful to have had such a beautiful place to run.



Definitely not a pavement pounder today!

I would definitely love to run this trail again. Good thing since my 50k is on the same trail! It was a nice sneak peek to what I will be running on come April. And as far as the elevation goes, definitely NOT 300ft. It was1300ft. That will teach me to believe everything I see on the internet. I know now to be prepared for anything. I'm very proud that I not only started the race (with all the rain and the last minute course change, etc. I was very tempted to just not do it) but that I finished it with a smile on my face, loving it and wanting more.